I had no idea of the kind of world I was about to get myself into when I published my very first post at Theta Mom. The blogosphere is now a place I can’t imagine myself not being an integral part of. I love to communicate and discuss ideas with others that revel in the same passion for blogging.

I’m referring to women who can empathize with me as they understand the same battles that I face, as well as connecting with those who have the innate ability to share a different perspective and make me think – I mean, really think. When a true dialogue is started, this is the aspect of blogging that I find so rewarding. It’s those distinct moments when we relate and connect that is so empowering. This is what truly fosters the relationships we are establishing together.

However, blogging can be stressful at times especially if we begin to compare ourselves to other bloggers. We tend to look at others that are reaching more success than we are and we begin to ask ourselves – what are THEY doing that we’re not? Why do THEY have so many subscribers and why did THAT post get so many comments? I was recently blog reading when a comment written by another blogger completely struck me. She referenced how it’s so easy to get caught up in the numbers game when it comes to blogging which actually spurred me to write this post…

When I began my blog, I knew nothing about Google Analytics, Sitemeter, Alexa and other tools that help you to analyze your site’s traffic. However, once I learned about these resources and understood the specifics I was immediately hooked. Quite frankly, I found myself checking these sources so frequently to see where my traffic was coming from, I became borderline obsessed. I constantly wanted to know how many page views I was receiving, who were visiting, where the referrals were coming from, which posts were most popular, etc. all in an effort to convince myself that if numbers were increasing I must be doing something right. But as soon as those numbers fluctuated or began to drop, this validation quickly turned to self-defeating behavior as I immediately felt like I wasn’t doing “enough.”

This was around the same time I began to look at my Google Friend Connect followers. It was an instant high when I saw a new face pop up in that little box or when I noticed new subscribers through my feed. But it was also a very low feeling when I lost followers. I was left wondering what I did wrong that made them lose interest in my blog. This was coincidently about the same time I began to count comments. There were times I would pour my heart out into a post which took a long time to draft and if I didn’t get as many comments on that post, I was disappointed to find that the carefully chosen words that took so long to put together didn’t resonate with others.

I also began to feel pressure that if I didn’t return every comment or at least attempt to connect with those that shared with me, readers would not return. {However, returning every comment and visiting every blog is impossible and if you need to know how I came to terms with this self-deprecating behavior, be sure to read this post}.

I thought that if I didn’t update my blog everyday I would eventually lose subscribers. I was trying to keep up with other bloggers that were posting daily and I realized that this was a pace I could not continue. The moment I began to feel as though this blog felt more like a “job,” I took a step back. At the end of the day, this blogging thing should be nothing but fun and rewarding. The moment it becomes otherwise, it’s time to re-evaluate.

So, how did I move away from the followers-comments-numbers game? I immersed myself in rich content and focused solely on the writing. I still love a good review and giveaway here and there, but my drive is truly powered by the need to clearly articulate my voice through this platform – whether I am heard by 5 or 500,000. I can’t obsess over the numbers anymore because that’s just what they are, a bunch of numbers. They certainly don’t equate to my self-worth as a blogger or even the total worth of this blog for that matter.

Do I still use Sitemeter and those other resources as helpful tools? Of course I do. There are many benefits as to understanding your site’s traffic and how to properly market to your target audience. There is so much knowledge to be gained from these tools and when integrated effectively they can be quite useful. But measuring your worth against these numbers? Well, that’s when it becomes self-defeating.

I do not spend countless hours anymore playing the numbers game – because my time is valuable and better spent drafting words in context that truly have meaning.

And THAT has become my true passion and fulfillment.

That is MY validation.