I Met Him in a Hoboken Bar

I want to preface this post by saying thank you. Thank you to those of you who left such amazing comments on my recent personal post. This was a big risk for me but your overwhelming response and support made me realize it was a chance worth taking. Having said that, I’m sharing another part of me. Another risk? Maybe. But I’m willing to take that chance again…

St. Patrick’s Day weekend.


I was seeing a guy who was considerably older than me. At the time I was 23 and he was 40. He was very attractive, seasoned, intriguing and I liked it. Dating him was exciting and in some ways mysterious, especially for a young woman my age. One of my girlfriends was visiting me from college that weekend so I was going to meet up with this guy and some of his friends in Hoboken, NJ {which is a great town located right over the river from NYC}.

About an hour before we were supposed to leave my phone rang. It was the very attractive, seasoned 40 year-old…

He told me he was really sorry but he wouldn’t be able to get together that night. One of his buddies got some last minute tickets to go see the Knicks play at Madison Square Garden. And he decided to go.

Yes, I was totally getting ditched for a Knicks game.

“But maybe we could possibly meet for drinks in the city afterwards?” Ummmm, thanks but no thanks.

After I hung up I must admit I was upset and disappointed, considering I was really starting to like this guy. It changed my whole mood and I almost didn’t even want to go out at all that night. But after a pep-talk and a few phone calls to rally some more troops, my girlfriend convinced me to have fun and make a night out of it in Hoboken without him.

So there I was in the middle of this bar – rockin’ some tall black boots, a black mini-skirt and a green St. Patrick’s Day hat. I was doing my thing on the dance floor when all of a sudden I saw him. No, not the 40 year-old but someone I instantly connected with.

He was magnetic.

I know what you’re thinking – how could you possibly “connect” with someone in the middle of a smoke-filled bar with music blasting and wall-to-wall people everywhere? Honestly, to this very day it’s hard for me to put into words.

When our eyes met it’s like the music faded, the smoke cleared and he was the only one I saw in that bar just like slow motion right out of a movie scene. This is the kind of stuff you only read about and it was happening to me. As cliche as this sounds, it really was love at first sight.

But there was no way in hell I was going up to him so I did the only thing I knew a girl could do. I continued to do my thing on the dance floor hoping and waiting for him to come over and talk to me. So after about ten minutes of these flirty looks going back and forth, Mr. McDreamy pulled some courage together and finally approached me. He stood in the middle of the dance floor and grabbed my hand, looked me straight in the eyes, leaned over and asked “What’s your name?”

What’s Your Name? – The line that would ultimately lead him to the altar, a home and two beautiful children.

What’s Your Name? – Three words that would begin a romance and a magical journey of a life we would build together.

What’s Your Name? – The phrase that has since changed my life. His life. Our lives.

What’s Your Name? – The question I answered and the rest really? Is history.

Yes, I met my husband in a bar and I thank my lucky stars that the Knicks played some basketball that night. Because of a mere NBA game, my journey ended with one man and truly began with another.

And it all started with three words in a Hoboken bar.


  1. says

    I met my husband ….in a bar….on St Patrick’s Day too!!!! Seriously. Back in 1989. Best St Patrick’s Day ever.

    Hey, been getting to know NJ. Beautiful state. Lovin’ Whole Foods, Trader Joes and all the great bagel shops. Not lovin’ the crazy drivers who seem to always want to hit or scratch my car!! Maybe I’ll run into you at a playground one of these weekends :)

    • says

      I would love that Mimi – you Jersey girl you! Yes, Trader Joes is one of my faves. And the drivers? Yes, total Jersey.

      Have a great weekend mama!

  2. says

    i always think it’s hilarious when i hear about married couples meeting in bars–you gotta know that’s meant to be, if you met in a BAR. :) that’s one great story, though; very serendipitous, and i love hearing about serendipity. makes me think the world isn’t such a terrible place after all.

    my husband and i met on the steps of the university library during the first week of school my freshman year. he was the first (and last, incidentally) guy i dated in college. i always say it must have been fate that brought us together, because we were both in the library at the same time, and that was a miracle!
    .-= alexis´s last blog ..don’t judge the grudge. =-.

  3. says

    You never know just where each little turn in the road is going to lead you, and this story is a perfect example of that. Glad you did get ditched for the Knicks and met the man of your dreams :-)

  4. says

    great post. curious, tho, why you feel like talkign personal is a “risk”. I LOVE reading blogs where the reader comes alive!!! Where I KNOW the reader as a person. obviously, i love your blog too, but we don’t get to see YOU that often.

    this has been great, heather!!! love reading about you.

    (p.s. i did a whole week of “all about me” on my blog and people loved it!)
    .-= julia´s last blog ..Deere John, You’re a Bit Obsessed =-.

    • says

      I guess I consider it a risk because it’s opening up about something so personal – of course I share personal stories based on my life on my blog, but nothing so “in your face personal” – you know what I mean?

    • says

      Wow – thank you for your awesome comment Angie! And yes, the smallest most unexpected things are such big life changers!

      Have a great weekend!

  5. says

    Awww, that is a great story! I met my husband at the beach. Different location but almost the same kind of story as yours: eyes met, things happened, he came over, and said, “I saw you checking out my friend…”

    Okay, maybe not exactly like yours then :)
    .-= Carrie´s last blog ..An Open Letter to Motorcycle Riders =-.

    • says

      Erin – I was always THAT girl that swore she would NEVER would date let alone marry someone she met in a bar – and in my full dating career, trust me, I met TONS of those “bar” guys, too… I guess I lucked out finding one in a million there. :)

  6. says

    Wow….I wonder if you’re the only person to ever find love in a Hoboken bar? just kidding. That really is a sweet and romantic story!! Thanks for sharing it.

  7. says

    I love this story! I have a draft post about how my husband and I came to be — this is inspiring me to get it out, and push the publish button!

  8. says

    Love this. Met my husband at a bar too. His friend was hitting on my friend, so we starting talking (as wingpeople, respectively). We got married, other two never made it to first date ( :
    .-= Jenny´s last blog ..Falling From Grace =-.

  9. Elizabeth says

    Hi Theta Mom!

    I just wanted to tell you how much I’ve appreciated your personal posts. Whatever you read about people following bloggers they feel they could be friends with is SO TRUE!

    I am a college student finishing up an internship that isn’t worth explaining here, in which I’ve followed TONS of mom bloggers, and you may be my absolute favorite.

    Keep up the great writing! I intend to keep following even after the job is over : )

    Happy Friday and have a great holiday weekend.

    • says

      Wow Elizabeth – Thanks so much for the comment and feedback! I had an overwhelming response about these kin of “personal” posts that I may just have to open up a but more – and more often. :)

      Have a great weekend and so glad you are a reader!

  10. says

    I met Peter in bar too! Though, we were in NYC on Halloween in 2005. Totally wasn’t supposed to even go into the city that night, but caved at the begging of another guy that liked me. Kinda ditched him when I saw Peter dancing across the room. Eyes locked, nothing else there mattered after that :-) He actually approached me hours later and gave me a bag of Skittles (he was handing out candy for the holiday, awww). I STILL think he loves Skittles, even though he doesn’t really. Just assumed he was handing out his favorite candy, ha!
    .-= Amber´s last blog ..Food Issues =-.

  11. says

    It wasn’t a crowded dance floor in a bar for me, it was at the Caracas airport in Venezuela. One look and that was it. We’ve been married 7 years now. I know the look. I understand the look.
    .-= A Mother’s Hood´s last blog ..Tiger Beat =-.

  12. says

    I met my husband in a bar too on the upper east side. I was pursuing acting and was waiting tables, and he was the bouncer and a aspiring musician. We have a complelety different life now…..

    But yes, love at first sight for us as well…

    Love your story !

    Sadie at heyMamas
    .-= Sadie at heyMamas´s last blog ..Crazy like a Belle =-.

  13. says

    Oh my, Thetamom, you made my heart beat a little faster as I was reading. That blew any old Pioneer Woman/ Marlboro Man story out of the water in an instant. Thank you for sharing : )

  14. Barb S. says

    I also met my husband in a bar, he was the bouncer/assistant manager at the time back in 1981, and we were friends for 6 months before we dated. Dated for 7 years and married for 21 years now!

  15. says

    This is fabulous. I could totally feel that moment and I do believe in love at first sight, not corny at all. There really is something like a higher frequency exchange that happens between two people. Yay for that Knicks game!

    I used to live in NJ (Hasbrouck Heights and Lodi) while study/working in NYC and I did rock a few bars and parties in Hoboken. I miss the whole metro area.
    .-= Babes about Town´s last blog ..A Pox on Both my Homies! =-.

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