If you are a Stay-at-Home-Mom and there are days that you feel you have done nothing more than wipe snot from noses, clean spilled juice from the floor and fold more laundry than you would care to admit – you are not alone.
If you feel lonely, isolated and still not sure of where you “fit” in, especially since you’ve given up your career and now find yourself meandering through toward a different path – you are not alone.
If you have second-guessed yourself on a constant basis as well as your choices and the way you parent – you are not alone.
If you have felt mommy guilt for losing your patience too quickly with your kids or for snapping at your husband for no real reason because you feel like you are losing your mind – you are not alone.
If the cashier lady at Target is the only face-to-face communication you receive in a day and you find yourself jumping on Twitter to get some adult conversation – you are not alone.
If you are a Work-Out-of-the-Home Mom and there are days you cry at your desk missing your babies – you are not alone.
If you wake up at the crack of dawn to ensure you get to work on time while wrangling your kids in a sheer panic to get them out the door as well – you are not alone.
If you have a brutal commute with no end in sight and you wonder how the hell you got here – you are not alone.
If you drop your kids off at day-care and think about the little time you will have with your kids while pondering the idea that there has to be an easier way to make this thing work – you are not alone.
If you fight with your husband as to who will take a day off from work because your kid is sick – you are not alone.
If you are a Work-at-Home-Mom and there are moments when you feel like there is absolutely no balance in your life – you are not alone.
If your laptop has landed in your kitchen and has since become your home office – you are not alone.
If you feel torn between trying to be the perfect mom while maintaining a job and doing both simultaneously and feel as though you are failing at both miserably – you are not alone.
If you feel as though you are losing your mind trying to squeeze in conference calls between play-dates and answering emails during snack time – you are not alone.
If you don’t know when your real work day begins or ends and you still don’t know what the hell you are making for dinner each night – you are not alone.
*I am a mother and I have been all three of the above roles and I can tell you that not one of these jobs is easier than the other – they all present their own set of challenges because they all have the word MOM in the title.
And lately, I’ve been feeling so many of those things but you know what’s helping me?
This little ol’ blog.
Because it’s here, in this space, I am surrounded by a supportive community of women and mothers that remind me every single day – *I AM NOT ALONE.*
Very good! Just what the doctor ordered!
Twitter: themommyologist
says:
My kitchen island is my office…and yes, there are some days where I just don’t know how I will get it all done. It’s been especially tough with all these snow days!
Twitter: Truthfulmommy
says:
Perfect! I spend most of my days working from my living room computer. I am in a commuter marriage.I have been a WAHM for the past 4 years but it was easier when my husband was here to distract the children or handle bedtime. Now, its me …all day,e very day ( w/ the exception of the weekends). On most days I feel like I have all my balls in the air and at any moment they will all come crashing down on my head.It is hard! I find myself wishing I could rewind and redo a lot of days…and I DONT like that feeling.I try to keep in mind that money is important but the girls will only be this age for a very little while and I need to prioritize and let go of some of the guilt and exercise forgiveness.Great post!
Twitter: ThetaMom
says:
Making lists really help me to prioritize what I have to accomplish each day, but it IS hard and NO – you are not alone.
xoxo
Twitter: babspinfrance
says:
What a great post! I think I’ve gone through 90% of these in the past two weeks!
Twitter: catchallthekids
says:
What an inspiring post. The last of my children started school this year. Time to set that new direction!
Twitter: myevil3yearold
says:
I have been struggling with the thought of transitioning from work out of the home to work in the home. This post made me cry and I am not even sure why.
Twitter: ThetaMom
says:
You are NOT alone and we are all here to support one another. That’s why I said no matter what you do, adding the MOM to your resume just isn’t easy. Take it all in stride mama, and we are here for you just like I know you are here for me!!
xoxo
Twitter: fourplusanangel
says:
What a perfect post, I believe I have felt pretty much all of the above. This blogging world has an amazing way of making us feel like we are joined by a million amazing women who are not “alone” either.
Twitter: ThetaMom
says:
Without a doubt. THIS is the reason I love my blog so much – for the COMMUNITY.
I often wondered if anyone else felt the way I did all those years ago when I was still working for someone else and had to rush everything and everyone out the door! Now that I work for myself, I still need to rush all the kids out the door for school but then it’s to my desk around the corner (previously known as dining room) to work and cram as much as I can until the 3PM bus gets here with all the kids. I look forward to reading your blog in the weeks and months to come.
Twitter: ThetaMom
says:
Thanks so much Libby! Glad ot have you here!
Twitter: lifewithoutpink
says:
I have been all three as well and I agree they are all hard! Right now I work from home and I struggle every day with balance. I know I’ll never have it, and its hard. My dining room table is my office and its hard to focus at times but I have to count my blessings
Twitter: amandablogs
says:
So true! I’ve been a SAHM and am now a working mom, and both are very challenging, in different ways. I wish more people on all sides understood and supported each other. Being a mom is hard, period. I agree with you – the support I’ve found through blogging is amazing!
Twitter: ThetaMom
says:
Exactly – each role is challenging in different ways!
Twitter: makingitworkmom
says:
we are not alone and we should stop competing with each other. I think in real life there is such a competition to be the best to have it all and we all know that “having it all” is not possible unless somehow magically the day was extended to 36 hours and we didn’t need to sleep.
I love that in the blogging world someone gave women permission to “let it all hang out” and to LAUGH about it. Now hopefully somehow we can get the “not perfect” feeling to transfer to our neighborhoods, PTA meetings, Dance classes. Everyone would be so much happier.
Heather
Twitter: ThetaMom
says:
Heather – that is the VERY reason I began this blog – to begin THAT conversation.
Thanks for adding value here.
A great post that all of us can relate to and many of us have balanced parts of every role and have lived to blog about it! Thank you for the reminder, keep doing a great job and all your rolls!
Twitter: JackieCross
says:
That’s what I love about the blogging world… I’m not alone. There are millions of women out there just like me and they all feel the same. And we’re all here to support on another.
I’m fairly certain that I’ve felt every single one of those items you listed at one point or another in my life.
Twitter: LyssLovingLyla
says:
Love this. Thanks for the reminder!
Twitter: bransonlee
says:
Absolutely love this. Perfect way to start my morning
so true, girl! cue the music….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BlRvE9dKWQc&feature=related
“we make each other strong
we’re not the same, we’re different in a good way…
we’re all in this (mothering gig) together!”
Twitter: KandJplus5
says:
JUST what I needed to read this morning. I’m a full-time student, with a HORRIBLE class load this semester while trying to maintain a home with happy kids and a happy hubby. I need to remember…I am NOT alone. Thank you!
Twitter: ThetaMom
says:
Kara – you are not alone!!
Twitter: koffeeluvr
says:
WOW! Thank you– talk about timing! I have been particularly snappy this week and have been laying a major guilt trip on myself….
Twitter: Lemead
says:
This is lovely … thanks for sharing it. And I think the fact that everyone can find something here that soothes them, no matter what their particular acronym is, speaks to how inclusive your words are (and to the fundamental commonality of motherhood).
xox
Twitter: ThetaMom
says:
Lindsey – Exactly! No matter what we are faced with, we are all in this thing together!
Twitter: AccustomedChaos
says:
great post Heather! Transitioning from a SAHM to a WAHM is where im at now & other routine changes (like oldest starting school PT) have left me feeling very off balanced. always comforting to know i am not alone
Twitter: phyllisperkins
says:
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!! You really rocked it on this post! THIS was the post I MOST needed today! Thank you for all of the love and support you show us Theta Moms!
Twitter: ThetaMom
says:
Phyllis – It’s a post like this and a comment like yours that reminds me I am NOT alone.
xoxo
Twitter: StrollerBallet
says:
Amazing post. It’s so easy to feel like you are alone, sometimes. But it’s so true…regardless of our place in life we all do have insecurities…we need to support each other…and we aren’t alone! This made me cry. Thank you!!
Twitter: ThetaMom
says:
Thank you so much Sarah – and this is one of the reasons why I love blogging so much. THIS dialogue and the reminder we ARE here for one another!!
xoxo
Twitter: IHaveLanded
says:
I’m absolutely dreading my work-out-of-home role these days and wish I could change it. I know each will present its own set of challenges like you said, but it will still be nice to have more time to spend with my babies rather than having that time on a long commute…
Well said, and so accurate in each instance. I’ve been all three too, but am currently in the 3rd category (work from home). I’m much better at it than I used to be, but it’s still nice to read this & know you share a common bond with moms everywhere. It’s all about supporting one another! Good job!
Twitter: ThetaMom
says:
Yes – My new mantra is that this is the SISTERHOOD of MOTHERHOOD!! We are all in this thing together!
Twitter: Ellietownmama
says:
Thanks for the reminder, I needed it today!
Wow… you really said it all! At first I thought the post might be leading to which role is better, but as I am always telling people… we are all moms, and we need to support each other. No need for “mommy wars” over whose choice is better and who feels more guilt about how they are taking care of their family better. Thank you for putting it out there that we are not alone and we need to lean on each other when we have those feelings of self-doubt.
Twitter: ThetaMom
says:
Without a doubt – there’s too much competition and negativity among moms – it’s time we rallied TOGETHER and supported one another! Thanks for your comment!
Twitter: mommyofamonster
says:
Oh Heather….this is PERFECT! It needs to be shared – thank you for writing how all of us feel. I’m going to tweet this and include it my Monster Likes on Saturday (which is a list of my fave posts I found throughout the week)
Twitter: ThetaMom
says:
Thanks Natalie – this is the kind of post I hope EVERY mom has the chance to read.
Twitter: Nicole_Boyhouse
says:
So very true! We have to remember our community and that we all support each other, regardless of work status/stay at home status/whatever. Love it!
Twitter: Surprised_Mama
says:
I have been two of these titles, (stay at home mom & work from home mom) and it is so refreshing to see that I’m not alone in my thoughts. This post was right on time for me because I was just trying to figure out my balance of work and mom tasks. Thanks so much for posting!
Twitter: ThetaMom
says:
So glad you joined the convo – yes, you are NOT alone!
Twitter: CourtneyKirklnd
says:
Yep. This post hit the nail on the head…most days, I do my work [i.e. blogging] from the kitchen table surrounded by cheerios and laundry with Disney-Pixar playing in the background. Being a mom of any kind is tough. The blogosphere is a great place to connect with other women who feel the same way. Thanks for sharing.
A wonderful post. So spot on.
M2M
Heather, I said this to a couple of moms today … we were all talking about the challenges of raising teenage girls in today’s world. I said, “In some kind of perverse way, it helps to know you all are struggling, too!”
In my case, for me, truer words have NEVER been spoken.
The bloggimg community has changed MY LIFE.
Twitter: ThetaMom
says:
Changed my life as well. AMEN.
oops…that would be blogging. xo
Twitter: Ironic_Mom
says:
Well expressed and poignant.
I would add this (which makes me sound like a horrific mother):
If somedays you look forward to going to work because it seems easier than taking care of your kids, you are not alone.
At least I hope I’m not alone!
Twitter: ThetaMom
says:
No mama, you’re not alone.
Twitter: SaucyB
says:
@Ironic Mom You are definitely NOT alone. I used to feel that way sometimes too. By the end of the Xmas break after going 24/7 with the kid I welcomed that first day back at the office.
Twitter: mytimeasmom
says:
It is nice to be reminded that as moms we are not alone in the struggles we face each day. Blogging is an excellent way to express our feelings/emotions and to meet other moms who are going through similiar situations. I loved this post! Thank you.
Twitter: ThetaMom
says:
I’m so glad you liked it – and that the words resonated with you!! Thanks!
Twitter: ourgrowgarden
says:
Yep. Most days the only people I interact with are my baby and husband. Most days my hair is greasy and I have to keep on putting on deodorant because my shower is so low on the priority list. Most days I stand in front of the fridge wondering if I really have to eat chicken again (I nurse on an elimination diet). I wonder when I’ll be able to get my hair done? Or even be able to justify the expense. I cry everyday because my 6 mo old still won’t sleep well. Being a mom is so much harder than I thought it would be but I know I am sowing seeds to make a large happy family now that will surround me for the rest of my life.
Twitter: ThetaMom
says:
And you’ll get there mama…it sure helps to have a blogging community like this surround you in the process.
Twitter: RCThoughtfulMom
says:
*sniffles* How do you do that? This is the third time or so that you’ve made a post that was SO what I needed to hear! Thank you.
Twitter: ThetaMom
says:
Music to my ears mama!!
Twitter: mommymonologues
says:
Great post! I had a crazy stay-home-mom week last week and it was just miserable! I’m happy that this week has been so much better!
I thought you today Heather because my son ate peanut butter toast for breakfast (well he eats this every morning for breakfast he’s obsessed!) Then we left the house & went to a play group with about 100 other kids. BUT, before I left the house I washed his hands, face, changed his clothes, I was so worried that there would be kiddos allergic to peanuts! I would have NEVER done that had I not read Theta Mom…just thought I would let you know you are influencing people in great ways! I love it here!
Twitter: ThetaMom
says:
WOW! Your comment just totally made my day – and that’s why I published that nut allergy post – if just one mom could have walked away from it knowing more, it was so worth it. Thanks so much for reminding me that our words DO have weight in the blogosphere and what we write DOES matter to someone reading.
xoxo
Twitter: SaucyB
says:
Well said and so true. I’ve been on both sides of it too – initially being a working mom and now being home full time. As the saying goes, “Things are tough all over.” We all do the best we can day by day and you know what? That’s good enough!
Twitter: gigi927
says:
and when you blog…you’re not alone!
Twitter: jaysmomishome
says:
So very true. One of the best things I ever did was start blogging. It gave me such purpose as a stay at home mom. And you know I found such an amazing Autism network filled with such incredible support. Thanks for putting all this in words!
Twitter: Fordeville
says:
What a great post and very timely for me. I am a WOHM and your words ring so true. On recent snow days, I’ve been a WAHM and SAHM, which are equally as hard. There’s no silver bullet, right?
Twitter: ThetaMom
says:
No magic bullet – but if I find it, I’ll be sure to let you know.
Twitter: shelleyellen
says:
Amen sista, great post *said while holding up a glass of wine… o I mean mug of coffee lol
hugs,
shelley
Twitter: firefam5
says:
Man- you sure said it! I too have been all these moms at one time or another. It certainly makes it so much easier now that we have these great blogging communities so that we can all support each other. I think the kids early years would have been easier.
Twitter: ThetaMom
says:
I totally agree! I wish I started this blog earlier and that I read other blogs when I had my first child!
Twitter: katiefhurley
says:
I think the hardest part for me is finding new “mom” friends. I keep in touch with my work friends and live on the opposite coast from my closest friends, and I’ve had a hard time fitting in now that I’m not working much anymore. I’ve never had a hard time making friends in my life but right now I feel like I’m constantly up against mom cliques…it makes me a little sad. I’m glad I have new online friends and try to focus on the positive…which is that I get to rally focus on my kids right now. I could use a little balance though…I recently starting writing for another site as well and the late nights of writing are getting a little tiring!!!
Katie
Twitter: ThetaMom
says:
Katie – I felt the same way when I was home for the first time in years. My work friends were on a different schedule and all of my other hard-core friends lived in different states – it wasn’t until I enrolled my son in pre-school that I met other moms through my son and HIS friends. Fear not, you’ll begin to meet some Theta Moms that you’ll click with!
Twitter: TishaBerg
says:
Oh Heather, all I can say is “THANK YOU” for writing this. Of course, that is not all I will say because this post lays out exactly how I feel on most days. So often I have come thisclose to quitting because I’m just feeling too overwhelmed and like I can’t do it anymore. Once again you’ve shown me why we need someone like you, especially in the mom blogosphere to help keep us motivated when, as so often happens, the going gets really, really tough. You, and this post, are appreciated more than you know!
Twitter: 30ishmama
says:
I did feel alone until I started blogging. Now I see that I have so much in common with so many women and I can feel the solidarity among all the moms, the SAHMs, the WAHMs, and the WOHMs.
There are many times when I second guess myself and my “mommy skills.” There are even more times when I get frustrated and wonder why I can’t seem to get it all under control since I am a SAHM. Before the baby came I had this preconceived notion that my house would be spotless, I would cook amazing and healthy meals every day and still have free time to read, work out, visit with friends. Obviously, it doesn’t happen quite like that, but I am still working on it.
Twitter: motheringmayhem
says:
Thanks for pointing out that being a mom is hard, whether choosing to stay home, work, or work from home. All these mommy wars have got to stop!
Thank you for this post. I just recently started back to school and I still feel a combination of the SAHM issues – feelings of isolation – and the work out of home – missing the baby and feeling sad I’m away from her so many hours of the week.