12.20.11

A Well Deserved Blogcation

I look forward to the holiday season every single year because it forces me to slow down (after the stress of decorating, baking, shopping and wrapping is done of course). But once Christmas is actually here, it’s a wonderful time to spend with the family and just ENJOY life. Christmas week is a vacation of sorts for my family even if we don’t leave the house because we are taking some well deserved time together.

Basically, this means I am taking the rest of this week off from the blog (and part of next week) to do just that – spend some quality time with my family. I call it my blogcation and will return later next week excited to share some reflections of 2011, ringing in the New Year with you!

Until then, you know I’m never far – just an email or tweet away. And if you’re a blogger, I highly encourage you to take a blogcation or a mini-blogcation for yourself…Trust me, some time away will curb blog burnout and may even inspire you to return to your blog with tons of new ideas as well as some brand new energy. As a blogger with some experience, a little blogcation is good for the soul!

So from my home to yours…

Wishing you a safe and wonderful holiday!!!

xoxoxo

{ 29 Comments }
12.16.11

The Tangible Place to Forge a New Path as a Writer

My guest blogger today is Angela, author of the blog Tiaras and Trucks. She is such a supportive blogger and one who is about to make the exciting leap from the Blogger platform to WordPress. But her story here today is about so much more than blog design, it’s about making that fundamental decision to chase a dream – which she is doing through her very own blog.

My path to teaching wasn’t a straight one; I went back to school to obtain a master’s degree and teaching certificate simultaneously. Finding a job seemed like the end of a journey. Pregnant with my daughter Abbey, I graded papers, planned lessons, and thought about my career in terms of what sort of school I wanted to work at in the future. As an enchanted new mother, I started a blog, a place to document her photos and a few funny stories, creating a virtual baby book.

Between night awakenings, planning authentic assessments, early morning runs and contacting parents, I felt my passion for teaching wane. I dove into planning sessions, literature circles and stayed up working in the silence of the hours past midnight but my heart was divided.

By the time I was pregnant with Dylan, I knew I wanted to take a break with plans to teach again once he went to Kindergarten. Nursing Dylan in the stillness of a darkened room, I began clicking around, finding blogs I would come back to day after day. Soon, my own blog posts evolved, my language deepened and I rediscovered a joy for writing without the specific deadlines or expectations of academic assignments.

Slowly, my voice appeared; my writer’s voice – dormant for years, it called me forward in a whisper and then a SHOUT. 

I followed, uncertain and tentative, hiding behind words like hobby and just-for-fun.

I found communities like Theta Mom, which was like stepping into a candy store; blogs filled with sweetness, hilarity or with common sense advice. Women were sharing their stories and forming tribes of support, encouragement, and inspiration. I began reaching out, commenting and linking and exploring the meandering path of the blogosphere. 

Posts used to fly from my mind to the screen, published without more than a brief edit.  Now I draft and edit, taking pride in the record I’m leaving for my children, but somehow still left wondering if it could be something more.

I found Write on Edge, where I tasted fiction writing again and found a group of women who would unequivocally change how I view my own writing and the writing process. The idea of teaching again lost its appeal; freelance writing tickled softly behind my ears, hidden and unspoken, a goal I was afraid to voice should it fizzle out of existence once it met the air outside of my dreams.

I found Just.Be.Enough. where I have the opportunity to share my journey to find and accept who I am as a mother, a writer, a wife, a woman.

I found BlogHer and began to entertain thoughts of syndication and reviewing books and freelance work, both writing and copy editing.

Unlike my teaching career, this path is one I’m walking without a direct goal; there are obstacles and fears and doubts blocking my way. But there is beauty as well; the flowers of community and support that help cushion those obstacles.

Because of blogging, my teaching career is slowly becoming part of my past.  My blog, once a place to record milestones and memories, has become a tangible place to forge my new path as a writer.

My blog has helped my dreams take shape, and now I need to see how they hold their shape in the freedom of the breeze.

{ 35 Comments }
12.12.11

Full of Wonder

When I became a mom, I quickly learned how to respond to snarky comments and I absolutely realized that Motherhood is NOT one size fits all. I also took oodles of joy in the fact that this little wildflower was my very own and regardless of the struggles we’ve experienced and those that still await us, I have so many high hopes and dreams for my little girl.

I know I am a little late to the party, but better late than never, right? Two of my favorite bloggy friends Galit and Alison hosted an amazing blog linkup last week called Memories Captured where the idea was to take a photo and add in some text to highlight the memory captured from that particular moment. It’s such an awesome idea so be sure to show these bloggers some love and participate in the next Memories Captured – as I can’t imagine the blogosphere without it!

And for me, the photo in this post is a moment I want captured, one that I shared with my little girl who I see as all of those things – and I can’t wait for her to read this post one day and recognize all of those things, too.

{ 12 Comments }
12.8.11

When Blogging Leads to a ‘Real’ Job

I dropped off my daughter at preschool the other day and went to speak with the Director about a concern I was having in my daughter’s classroom. Somewhere in that conversation, the Director asked me, “Do you work or are you at home with the kids?” I replied, “Yes I work. Actually, I work from home.”

That response lead to her asking, “Oh, really? That’s great. What do you do?”

I responded with, “I’m an Adjunct Professor.”

As the words flew out of my mouth, I sank in my chair. And then the disappointment set in.

As many of you know, I was an avid Adjunct Professor for many years. I had a lucrative career, a stable job and a steady income – and then, I gave birth to my second child and fell in love with blogging.

Apparently, I wasn’t ready to tell the Director exactly what I do now in fear of her judging me; that the title of “blogger” just isn’t as established or well known as “Adjunct Professor” – or one in the eyes and minds of others doesn’t equate to as a “real job.” Honestly, I just wasn’t up for explaining what I do since blogging, at this point, still needs an explanation. What exactly would I tell her?

Yes, I blog. I tweet. I facebook. I bring creative campaigns and brand messaging to a whole new breed of consumers. I YouTube. I consult. I write. I develop business and marketing strategies. And the list goes on. Oh and yes, I get paid for doing those things. In essence, I make a living blogging in the social media space, so how exactly do I translate this job title to people who do NOT fully understand this world?

I don’t know about you, but I actually cringe at the thought of explaining what I do to even some family members and close friends. Bottom line? Those that are not active in this world simply DON’T. GET. IT. Moreover, they certainly don’t view this blogging thing as leading to a “real” job.

As a blogger, the personal issue for me has really become – why do I continue to hold back when I am asked that question, “What do you do for a living?”  After tons and tons of soul searching upon that conversation with the Director, I’ve since realized that the longer I remain silent, the longer I am simply adding to the rhetoric that blogging and social media do not equate to a “real” job – and for me, this couldn’t be further from the truth.

As a business owner, aren’t I a wonderful role model for my children? Doesn’t this prove that I can dare to dream and make things happen with continued dedication and hard work? Doesn’t this show my daughter that I can be a good mommy AND follow some of my own dreams, too? Doesn’t it show my son that mommy is fully capable of starting her own business and able to contribute to the family income and still use her education, skills and experience?

So why do I continue to listen to the preconceived notions from others who don’t fully understand what I do and who define what a “real” job, is for me and what is not?

Although one job may be much more stable than another and granted, when you freelance, there is much more risk involved since you never really know when that next paycheck is going to come in or where it’s going to come from, that should not make me any less of an employee (whether I am self-employed or work for someone else).

I have been one of the lucky ones to have found a way to make this whole thing work – and I’ve never worked harder at something in my entire life EVERY SINGLE STEP OF THE WAY. Nothing has been handed to me and every opportunity I acted on has been EARNED, just like any other job.

Blogging is the reason I’ve been able to see my babies grow up.

I have this blog to thank for being able to attend Kindergarten parades, birthday parties and story time at school. It’s because of THIS job that I am my own boss and I make my own rules and I punch my own clock – and guess what? I still bring home a paycheck.

In an industry where there really aren’t any concrete benchmarks, I think we need a call to action especially since our blogs currently serve as our virtual online resumes. And in a space where more and more women are finding creative ways to earn income from home, it’s about time that we took some credit for what we’ve established.

So let me be the first to tell the world that I *do* have a real job – it’s called Theta Mom.® It’s my own brand that’s the face of my own company – MY VERY OWN COMPANY and THAT is the REAL JOB that continues to put food on the table for my family.

And at this point in my life, I wouldn’t have it any other way. So maybe it’s about time I started to let the world know, too.

{ 56 Comments }
12.6.11

Following the Path

My guest blogger today is Kirsten, author of the blog Kir’s Corner. She is a wonderful writer who was caught between a few different worlds upon entering the blogosphere; she didn’t know the “right” niche she fell into – until now. Her story is empowering and I hope her words resonate with every woman who reads about her journey. As bloggers, we can all learn something from her personal experience.

“Do you know where you’re going to, do you like the things that Life is showing you?” Do you remember this song? It’s one of my favorites and a question that I ask myself all the time.

My blogging journey has lasted for more than six years and for most of them I literally had no idea where the paths would take me. In 2005, I had been married for two years and had been trying to get pregnant with a baby for the same amount of time. I was sad, lonely and very depressed about my infertility. Like so many women who are struggling with those issues I just wanted someone to listen, to understand and to empathize with those feelings. So I sought my first sisterhood and I found my first space here in the blogosphere.

Kir’s Corner was born.

I had no idea what I was doing as far as blogging was concerned. I have never been a very tech savvy gal but I did know that writing was helping me. I could purge and vent, I could ask and receive, I could connect to hearts that were hurting like I was and I found hope in this exchange of words and encouragement. I found I could be a part of a village, a cheerleader and a link in a very important chain of women that needed one another.

It was empowering and gave me Hope on a lot of hopeless days as women took me on their own journeys.

Soon, it was my turn to move to another place in my own story. I got pregnant with my twin boys with an IVF (in vitro) in May of 2008 and soon my blog that had dealt with all the intricate emotions of infertility added the aspect of pregnancy, morning sickness, advanced maternal age and multiples to the mix. Like a recipe I folded those new ingredients into the bowl and hoped for the best.

Would my infertile friends still come by?

Would my pregnant friends come back now?

I didn’t really know where I belonged. I was stuck between two worlds and not sure about which one I had the right to lay claim to.

Infertile?

Pregnant?

Both?

Once I became a mom the lines were even more blurred and hard to decipher. Like a survivor of a life changing event (and is anything more life changing than holding your children in your arms?) I struggled in those first few years of motherhood trying to decide who I was in this world inside the internet.

There was guilt and subdued happiness; reluctance and hesitation with each keystroke about whom I was writing for and what kind of reaction my words would bring. My heart was simply caught between sharing my own joy and hurting for the women that I had left behind.

I don’t remember the exact moment when I realized that I didn’t have to be in one place and not the other. What I do recall is the lightness of my heart when that thought occurred to me.

Once I had that ah-hah moment my mindset changed, my heart opened up and so did my writing.

Suddenly, I found myself in new villages, new communities and a new sisterhood that brought all the diversity of the world with it. Women, men, single, married, gay, straight, mothers and writers who were as colorful and different as any group could be yet when you peeled back the layers we had a common trait: a willingness and urge to share our lives.

They welcomed me, each one of them. Some liked when I wrote about my twins, others when I shared my own mishaps of motherhood. Some enjoyed my fiction stories and others wanted me to continue to give them glimpses into my past. For me it was the simple joy of knowing they would visit my corner that encouraged me to stay and just follow the path.

The last year of my blogging journey has been the happiest time of my life. I feel like I am finally sharing all the parts of myself without labeling myself or forcing myself into a niche. Something about this space has allowed me that freedom and choice to open the gift of myself and place it in the hands of the people who read me.

Today I am so content with what “Life is showing me…” and so grateful that I have a Corner where I can write, dream, vent and share while I wait to see where my journey will take me next.

And of course you’re welcome to join me anytime!

{ 36 Comments }
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