At that point in my life, my blog was my outlet.

It was my saving grace.

My sanity.

It was my home, my place to vent, to share, to connect.

It was my third baby.

I blogged between naptime, late night feedings and I even found myself reading and commenting on blogs in the wee hours of the morning – and to this day, I wouldn’t trade that time for anything. I loved every single second of it. Blogging got me through some of the toughest days of motherhood.

But now, I am in a different space. It feels almost strange, actually. It’s as if I am growing up – as if my blog is growing up.

My kids are also older, and growing up.

My son will be turning seven and starting first grade in the Fall. My daughter is in pre-school and will be attending full-time in September. She’s nearly four years old.

There are no more naps.

Or late night feedings.

And there is no more “luxury” of blogging in those wee hours of the morning.

My life is now consumed with helping my kids with homework, driving them to soccer games and nine million other school activities. I am out of the house more than I have ever been and even though I am still connected to the internet, I feel a bit of a disconnect.

It seems to be changing.

All of it.

So I wonder – as we evolve as bloggers, and as we evolve as mothers - do our blogs and our blogging habits change? How do you moms of tweens do it?! Many have often wondered how I blogged when my I had an infant baby, but I feel as though at that time, it was somehow easier to blog. It certainly seems easier than it is now.

I used to be home all the time. I was connected all the time.

But now, as my kids are venturing out on their own and growing up, jumping onto Twitter to tweet from a soccer game just doesn’t seem as important to me.

Or giving a Facebook update just doesn’t seem as vital anymore.

I’m not sure exactly what has changed, maybe it IS just me – or perhaps it’s just part of the evolution of blogging. And it’s certainly something I think blogging conferences should address. I know I can’t be the first to experience this.

Or the last.

Either way, I have to continue do what feels right to me. And right now, that means being completely connected to my kids. My blog, Twitter or Facebook won’t remember my son smiling on the soccer field.

But I certainly will.

You may remember when I blogged about Passing the Torch, seeing some old faces from the life that I once lead.

Well, yesterday was another bitter sweet moment for me.

I was sitting at a red light heading toward the restaurant when many of the district school busses pulled up next to me. It was that magical time when the bus drivers were doing their afternoon run; as they were lined up and idling next to me, tons of memories rushed in my head – the kids, the classroom, the teachers, the parents, the recollections of my entire career – all of it.

Seeing those busses reminded me of the life that I built there for nearly ten years – the life and career I left behind.

That town has so much meaning for me because not only did I work there and hit the bars in my early 20’s as a young professional tying to find myself, I also “met” my husband there on our first date. Well, technically, I met my husband in a bar, but since I was living as a single woman in an apartment at that time, I certainly didn’t give him my address. {I mean, what if he was some crazy ax murderer or something?!} So, I did what any smart woman would do – I made him meet me at the town Library on our very first date.

So as I drove through town yesterday, I passed THAT library.

And I went a few blocks over and passed the church.

The church I was married in.

Maybe I’m feeling so emotional because my ten year anniversary is coming up next month and we’ve been through so much – three homes, two children and various jobs in between – we’ve had our fair share of ups and downs but we’re still in this thing together.

Or maybe it’s really bitter sweet for me because of the changes were are experiencing as a family right now – and I am feeling a bit melancholy about giving up my career I loved so much now as I stare directly into the face of change.

I feel a little lost.

And displaced.

Like I am not sure where this all fits in.

But I am still counting on the man upstairs to guide us as we move forward. Regardless of where we end up, it doesn’t change how I felt yesterday driving through that town, nor will it ever change how I feel.

That town will forever have a special space in my heart – no matter where we land.

And that’s where I find myself right now.

Alongside my husband, together, we are currently making some huge decisions that will ultimately be life altering for us.

And for our children.

I believe that the man upstairs has a plan for us and even when we may not be ready for all of this change, it’s coming.

But for us right now, it’s coming all at once.

I have faith that the man upstairs will never give us more than we can bear, even when the change seems overwhelming because it’s part of a bigger plan – a master plan to which we have very little control, one that has been scripted and just ready to be played out; one that is part of the ultimate plan that is meant to be – but unfortunately, we just can’t fully see that right now because we’re still in mid-flight.

I’ve been anticipating some changes and have been ready to deal with them. However, my husband and I have been thrown a few curve balls and now we have to make some huge decisions that will alter the course of the rest of our lives but hopefully, for the better.

Amidst this change, my business must survive first, so I am not quite sure how often I will be able to post here until I have a better idea of where my “in-real-life” is all going.

And I thought you, my unbelievably supportive, amazing, dedicated readers deserved to know why I’ve been so absent here recently.

I’ve always been up front and honest as I’ve navigated through the world of blogging, but for the first time in nearly three years, my “in real life” has taken over in a way it never has before.

I can only do so much and right now, my family is and always will be number one.

So until I feel more settled about our future, where this is all headed and where we will land, I am treading slowly here and will publish when I can.

And I sure hope you’ll still be here.

Who knows? This may make for some great blog fodder – but until then, please say some prayers for us that we will find our way.

Because right now, we are still in mid-flight hoping this will all work out – for the better.

I also updated my YouTube Channel so if you’re an avid YouTuber, I would love for you to subscribe to My Channel: Theta Mom Blog.

But, be gentle as you watch my vlog – I’m still learning as I go through this whole new world.

We had some of his family members visiting from Europe and you know how much work it is to have out of town guests (not only were they out of town, it was their very first trip to America. Yeah, THOSE kind of non-stop house guests).

Anyway, my husband wanted to take our “out-of-town-here-for-the-first-time-in-america-oh-my-god-i-want-to-see-everything-guests” to see the Statue of Liberty. But let’s not forget to note that it was a whopping 5 degrees outside that day with large amounts of snow on the ground and I sure as hell didn’t feel like riding the ferry and staring at Lady Liberty in that crazy cold weather.

If I was going to take a day off from work, it certainly was NOT going to be spent in frigid NYC weather with my husband’s family. No, my day off was going to be filled with lots of warm cups of coffee, comfy slippers and tons of senseless television – in an empty house.

So I bid my husband and his family farewell at the door and I told him I would call him later. You know, because I was feeling a bit under the weather myself –  so much so, I even took a pregnancy test.

Ahem.

Excited to have the whole day ahead of me all to myself, I was SO thrilled to begin planning the epic news of how I was going to tell my my husband that he was going to be a father. Before I could even begin planning how I was going to do it, I threw in a load of laundry and made myself a cup of tea. This sure was going to be a perfect day off. That was until the moment I saw water seeping out from under my laundry room door…

I ran over and opened the door to find out what seemed to be 8 million gallons of water ejecting from the washing machine directly onto my hardwood floors. The water was shooting out erratically from a pipe behind the machine and I just couldn’t make it stop.

I was a fairly new bride, maybe not one of the most domestic chicks you’ll ever meet – but I was always pretty confident when it came down to doing the wash. But, I had *no idea* why water was gorging from the water line – all I knew was that I had to make it stop but every second that passed, gallons and gallons of water continued to gush onto the floor.

Sloshing my way toward the basement door, I ran downstairs to grab a bucket of some sort – I thought perhaps I could contain some of the water in the bucket and then proceed to dump it out onto the snow covered ground. I know, not the most brilliant idea – but at the time (in the total of the two minutes I had when this whole thing went down), that’s all I could come up with. But as I was down in the basement for about two seconds, I knew I had even bigger problems.

The water spewing from my machine upstairs was now seeping through the hardwood floors and the water was falling through to the ceiling below directly into my basement. And it was falling onto all of the electrical cords down there – and that’s when I went into sheer panic mode. Not only did I probably completely ruin my floors, I now had this water issue oozing its way into my basement – and it was a clear fire hazard.

I couldn’t call my husband because he was busy showing his family around NYC so I had no choice but to call the police. By this time, the water was done spewing because the spin cycle had been complete, but the damage was already done.

The police finally came, saw the damage and walked over to my washing machine. After a quick investigation of the situation, it was made known that one of the pipes was frozen which caused the water to spew out – but the cop did point out one priceless little detail to me that day.

“You see this button on the machine?” the cop asked.

I leaned over to take a look.

And there were the words, clear as day.

 “Pull to Start – Push to Stop.”

With one finger, the cop pushed the button in, turning the machine off in just one click. After some silence, I stood there in my sopping wet slippers  and “Oh,” was pretty much all I managed to speak. I never felt so stupid in my life, I should have just blamed it on pregnancy brain.

And the cop’s parting words? “Well, at least you’ll know for the next time, right? Best of luck when your husband comes home.”

Ugh, the mere thought of telling my husband was beyond dreadful. There I was, surrounded by gallons of stagnant water, warped hardwood floors and a whole hell of a lot of explaining to do when the hubs got home.

Thank GOD I had the news that he was going to be a Daddy to share first. Otherwise, I’m not quite sure how that night would have all played out. Regardless, let me save you hours and hours of agony ladies – just know when to pull and push.

The end.

And I’m doing it my way.

I can be found on Nicole’s fabulous blog today, so share some comment love over there on my post published at By Word of Mouth!

She started a fabulous guest blogging series where selected bloggers write about a “Proud Mommy Moment” and for me – this is one of those moments I’m sharing about my daughter I will NEVER forget.

So, I would love for you to show some comment love over there on a post that truly means a lot to me.

In the nearly three years I’ve been blogging, this was the FIRST time I didn’t post in over two weeks. That’s right, two weeks away from posting AND the nine million other things that come along with owning and publishing a blog.

Two full weeks and I have to tell you, it was a much needed break for me.

It even gave me the inspiration and motivation to chop my hair and bring some Theta Mom moxie back into my life.

In the time I was away, I reconnected with my family.

And I realigned my priorities.

Whether you are a veteran blogger or a newbie who has been blogging for less than several months, this issue is going to hit home for you at some point or another and it will continue to creep up time and time again as you continue to blog. And when you add in the oodles of time spent on various social media sites in addition to writing, it becomes harder and harder to strike some sort of online balance – but it is SO necessary.

A great example is when I was recently sucked into the Pinterest black hole. I finally created an account after so much buzz about the site and the first night I logged in, I was on that thing for over three hours.

Three frackin hours.

It’s an amazing site, but there’s a big problem. I just don’t have the time for it all – not when I’m running a blog, a business and raising a family.

Once again, I’ve come to realize that I have to make decisions that make sense for me and MY blog. It’s not based on what works for the blogger next to me or the blogger after that.

It’s what continues to work for ME.

Since my blogcation, I’ve cut back on my time spent on some social media sites – the ones that weren’t working in some way for my blog and my business. I can’t continue to put time and effort into a something that doesn’t show me some sort of return – whether it’s referral traffic, the ability to build relationships, share and find great content or network with others. If the site becomes nothing more than a hobby, I have to treat it as such and move on.

Some swear by Pinterest and that’s awesome. Some only use StumbleUpon and have tons of success. Some strictly use YouTube or LinkedIn and I can go on and on…the secret is finding the site(s) that work for you and invest your time accordingly and don’t get caught up in all of the hype just because it may be working for others – stick to what you know and continue to build upon what works for YOU.

Which brings me back to my whole blogcation point again.

I needed a break.

I was on social media overload.

And the time away from my blog reminded me of a few very important things:

I love to write.

I love, love, LOVE to write.

But when you add in the time and pressure of promoting posts, obtaining additional subscribers and maintaining a loyal readership by staying active on social media really begins to blur the lines…

The fact is that owning and publishing a blog IS a job – but WANTING to be here not feeling like I HAVE to be here is the big difference. And I’m happy to say I am in a good space again.

In the very early part of my blogging career, I obsessed over obtaining new readers. Soon after, I was so intent on increasing traffic hoping not to land in bloggy burnout and most recently, instead of playing the numbers game I was all too concerned with making sure I had that CONSTANT social media presence who knew no boundaries.

I’ve come to see that you absolutely need to create some boundaries or this social media space will eat you up alive.

You need to set limits.

You can’t ignore the things that are important to you.

You can’t neglect the mundane things that have to get done. Like cleaning the house, doing the laundry, or cooking once in awhile.

Above all else, YOU NEED TO LIVE YOUR LIFE OUTSIDE OF YOUR BLOG.

Final words to note?

I am writing for ME again.

And those that read Theta Mom® who want to continue to read Theta Mom® will *still* be here.

Two week blogcation or not.

I reviewed the Home Office Edition in hot pink. This product runs on an August to August academic calendar, keeping you aligned with the school year. It’s a large, spiral-bound planner perfect to leave at home so that you have all of your appointments in one place! This planner gives you ample room to be sure every child and member of the family is accounted for – even alongside your business! The Home Office Edition provides weekly and monthly views as well as convenient monthly tabs and folder pockets for those important papers.

momAgenda recently launched the Home Office Edition in some fabulous new colors, so be sure to check out this new line of August 2012 – August 2013 Editions!

You can purchase the Home Office Edition here and be sure to follow momAgenda on Twitter and Facebook to stay up to date on new products and deals. You can also follow the COMM Team and the momAgenda Blog for the latest community news.

But wait. There’s more.

Because we are quickly approaching Mother’s Day, we know you Theta Moms are always in need of some fabulous organization so the COMM Team is launching a series of giveaways that will run through the end of this month! At Theta Mom®, momAgenda is giving away a Home Office Edition to one very lucky reader!

***This contest is now closed. Congratulations Natalie! An email has been sent.

GIVEAWAY RULES:

I made this super easy for you. Simply follow my blog, visit momAgenda and leave a comment telling me the name of the momAgenda product that’s on YOUR wish list this Mother’s Day! Be sure to tweet the following as an extra entry:

I want a @momAgenda for Mother’s Day! I just entered the #giveaway @ThetaMom http://bit.ly/HhxVZi #momAgendaCOMM

This contest is open to US and Canada residents, ages 18+ and will close on Friday, April 13th. A winner will be selected via random.org. {The winner must have a valid email address and claim the prize within 48 hours. Otherwise, another winner will be chosen}.

Theta Mom® abides by word of mouth marketing standards and believes in honesty of relationship, opinion and identity. As the Brand Ambassador for momAgenda® and the Leader of COMM: Council of Media Moms, I am compensated for the work I perform including posts such as this. In addition, I received a Home Office Edition to facilitate this review. However, all opinions expressed are purely my own and the content of this post was not influenced in any way.

I was a newly pregnant woman reading a copy of Jennie McCarthy’s Belly Laughs: The Naked Truth about Pregnancy and Childbirth since blogging was nearly non-existent at that time. I was sobbing both from laughter and fear from the words on the pages that were glaring at me.

Back then, I didn’t have other moms to turn to.

I didn’t have other women to share in my pregnancy woes because my “mom friends” who had children before me were the kind who had belly sculptures taken of themselves and loved EVERY moment of pregnancy. Yeah, THOSE moms.

I was miserable.

I felt totally alone.

And I am not ashamed to admit that I hated every second of being pregnant.

The only comfort I was able to find was sitting at the bottom of a book shelf at that Barnes and Noble and I must tell you at that time, there wasn’t a huge selection of “truthful” experiences about pregnancy and if you were looking for an honest take on motherhood? It was nowhere to be found.

The thing is, it was early 2005 – a time when blogging was *just* beginning to emerge. If only I was a first-time pregnant mama at a time when blogging was readily available and widely accessed – if only back then did I know there were other Theta Moms and Scary Mommies out there…

Fast forward to the summer of 2009 and once upon a time, I started a blog. One of the very first blogs I found and began reading religiously was by a woman named Jill Smokler called Scary Mommy.

I was immediately drawn into her blog from the very first post I read. She always wrote about what I was thinking as a mom but perhaps too timid to admit myself. She posted about the torturous moments of motherhood we all go through in a hilarious way – her blog dripped with sarcasm and I loved it. She also knew how to take those ugly mommy moments and somehow make me laugh. She also had me weeping at posts that pulled at the heart strings.

I kept returning to her blog again and again because she was REAL. She even knew how to take those raw moments and little unknown facts about motherhood and present them in a way that made me relate to her time and time again. I always left her blog feeling a little more connected to other moms knowing I was NOT alone.

And now, she has taken her blog to new heights since she has written her first book, Confessions of a Scary Mommy which hit bookshelves April 3rd.

Confessions of a Scary Mommy is a MUST READ for every woman who is about to embark on this crazy journey called motherhood or one that is deep in the trenches already. This book will make you feel like you aren’t crazy, that other women have the same experiences as you and most importantly – you are NOT alone in this thing called motherhood. You can purchase a copy here.  

Jill is without a doubt my Jennie McCarthy of today. She knows just how to make you laugh and feel as though you are not alone in this book. And now, you have the chance to give a fellow Scary Mommy the gift of knowing she is part of something so much bigger than she even thought possible – and she’ll be laughing all the way through her pregnancy and beyond.

I’m a big believer in supporting brands and people that I love – which is why I am giving away a copy of Confessions of a Scary Mommy to one lucky Theta Mom® reader!

***This contest is now closed. Congratulations Andrea! An email has been sent.

As for giveaway rules? Well, I made this super easy for you.

Simply follow my blog and leave a comment sharing one of YOUR very own motherhood confessions. Copy/paste the following and tweet for an extra entry:

I want to win a copy of Confessions of @ScaryMommy I just entered the #giveaway @ThetaMom http://bit.ly/HebLHv

This contest is open to US residents, ages 18+ and will close on Friday, April 13th. A winner will be selected via random.org. {The winner must have a valid email address and claim the prize within 48 hours. Otherwise, another winner will be chosen}.

Theta Mom® abides by word of mouth marketing standards and believes in honesty of relationship, opinion and identity. I was provided a copy of Confessions of a Scary Mommy to facilitate this post and of course, I adore Jill so she fully has my support! She has paved the way for so many bloggers so if you don’t win a copy here at Theta Mom®, be sure to purchase a copy for yourself and recommend the book to other Theta Moms that you know!