Motherhood is a Game Changer

I never knew how much motherhood would be a game changer until I became a mom myself. Once becoming pregnant for the very first time and giving birth to a child, not only did my perspective on life change – but so did my entire world.

It made me think about what I really wanted out of life.

It made me look deeper into myself and define what is really important.

It made me honor my values.                       

It made me have an undeniable respect for my own mother.

It made me appreciate my childhood and the way I was raised.

It made me think about my actions in a way I never thought about before.

And it certainly made me make some tough choices about what *I* was going to do with the rest of my life.

You see, when my husband stood by my side at the hospital, having a baby wasn’t nearly as much of a game changer for him.

He returned to work upon Day #5 after the birth.

His professional work clothes fit him without an issue.

He didn’t have to diet, workout or worry about his physique.

His hormones remained completely intact.

His relationships with his friends and co-workers were seamlessly easy to maintain.

He did not have to make the tough career choices surrounding the birth of this baby. He still had a job, a pay check and a rewarding career. My husband simply had to get up, shower, eat a little breakfast and return to work, life as he knew it prior to the baby.

But for me, I held onto this precious soul who napped over my shoulder, wondering where my life would lead.

 I was confused about the feelings I was having – not knowing if a return to my previous full-time job would be the “right” answer for me.

For us.

I agonized over the blood, sweat and tears it took to obtain a graduate degree and I didn’t want to throw that all away – yet, I wanted nothing more than to hold that baby every second of every hour of every day.

I worried about money – about maternity leave, about insurance, about my job, about getting back into my pre-preggers clothes, about how I was still somewhat confused about this new sisterhood I was just inducted into.

Having a baby was certainly a game changer for me.

My only hope is that with time, women will have many more opportunities to make solid career choices and decisions surrounding the work/life balance of motherhood that makes sense for them without feeling like they are giving up on a part of themselves. I’m hoping women will have more chances to find a way to make it all work.

If only my blog was around 6 years ago – having YOU here reading with me, offering some words of encouragement and letting us all know that WE ARE NOT ALONE. If only I knew back then that I was one of millions of women who felt the same exact way.

If only.

Blogging and the Benefits of Brutal Honesty

My guest blogger today is Robin, author of the blog Farewell Stranger. She is sharing her experience with us today about the power of brutal honesty in blogging – that sometimes, you will find an outpouring of support when opening up about your own struggles. She points out that of course bloggers have their own comfort level when it comes to personal sharing and should be used at their own discretion, but she also provides the benefits of where this kind of sharing may lead – to a community of support.

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” – Plato

It’s true, isn’t it? We all struggle with something, whether big or small. Illness. Loss of a loved one. Even the ever-present thought that we’re not as smart/pretty/skinny as everyone else. The good thing with struggles is that they make great blog material.

The thought of sharing your innermost insecurities might make you want to shut down your computer and run away screaming. You might fear people will judge you. Or, “that’s not what my blog is about,” you might say.

I’ll tell you one thing from personal experience: sharing YOU is a good thing.

 It can be cathartic. Empowering. Healing. It can help you feel less alone. For your readers, it can be reassuring to know they’re not the only ones who struggle. It can help them get to know you better. That’s not to suggest you should turn your blog into a gossip site with yourself as the target. I’m just talking about honesty. Brutal honesty.

I sat down on January 1st of this year and set up a blog. I wasn’t sure where I was going with it, but postpartum depression was slowly killing me and I needed to get it out. I needed to write it out. I didn’t really think about who would read it – I actually thought no one I knew would. But if you read my very first post you’ll see that my boss found my blog before I had even posted something. So much for that theory.

It didn’t matter. I wrote anyway, as though no one were reading it. And I do that still. We talk about authenticity in blogging and how important it is, and I believe that completely. Having said that, I will acknowledge that, yes, you can be your real self without sharing everything. We all hold something back, because it’s too intimate or because we’re not ready to share or whatever. And that’s totally okay. I do that too.

But I’ve also written about things I thought would never make an appearance on my blog. The posts I was most nervous about publishing were the two in which I wrote about my experience with postpartum rage. Those posts included two incredibly personal admissions – the kind of posts I never thought I would share. Ever.

But I finally decided I needed to – not for me, but for others. So I wrote, bawling, and then hit publish. And held my breath. As it turns out, those are the posts that have allowed me to connect most with other people. I got so much support, and I heard from others who have been there too – everything from “thank you for writing that” to “I thought I was the only one and that I was the worst person in the world”. (I know, I did too.)

I’ve also seen many people tell their hard stuff and get so much support in return. I think doing this sort of thing – to whatever extent you’re comfortable – is a great thing to do and can have a huge impact on blogging success (however you define it). I’m not saying you have to spill all your secrets or focus a lot on your personal story if that’s not what your blog is about. Just think about what you could share that will give you a personal connection with someone else. It might help you, and there’s a good chance it will help someone else.

After all, with all the benefits of blogging, isn’t “thank you” one of the best?

Interested in guest posting at Theta Mom® for the Network? I am currently accepting submissions. Full details can be found on the Network page.

This Life: Organizing Your Memories

This Life is a business that was started by Andrea, a mom of three and her husband Matt. She found herself overwhelmed by the amount of notes, videos clips, loose photographs and mounds of artwork that consumed her family memories but had no sense of organization. She realized that all of these special “moments” were captured on various devices and saved in different places. Artwork piled up in boxes, notes scattered about, video remained stuck in the Flip and photos from memory cards were kept in various cameras. This is the moment Andrea knew that there had to be a way to take all of these precious memories from various devices and keep them in one safe place – and to have this organization process be performed by an app. Hence, This Life was born.

This Life was designed to make organizing your digital moments so much easier. The “magic box” simply gathers, enhances and organizes your photos and videos for you in a chronological timeline while keeping them all safely stored. In essence, all of the scanned images you have on your phone, desktop, photo websites and social services will all be carefully placed into one perfect spot – the This Life cloud.

This Life actually improves photos using photo correction based on what is actually needed. Color is balanced, contrast is adjusted, highlights are corrected, etc. The program then organizes these special “moments” by displaying them on a timeline with specific person, date, and location tags. The timeline is also completely searchable by person, date, location, or media type. Again, everything on This Life is stored centrally in the cloud, ensuring that your photos and videos are always safe, synced and available on any device. This Life does all of the work for you! Have an iPhone? Get easy access with automatic sync between your iPhone, the cloud, and your computer. 

This sounds pretty awesome, right? Well, This Life recently launched and here’s why you want to jump on this deal which won’t be around for long. This Life is offering Theta Mom readers an exclusive opportunity to try out this service – for FREE! That’s right! The Adventure Box trial for This Life will house and organize 20,000 of your photos absolutely FREE for 6 months! You can upgrade or cancel your membership at any time. Be sure to check out this opportunity to receive your FREE 6 month trial and stay up to date with the latest developments and new information for This Life on Twitter and Facebook.

Theta Mom® abides by word of mouth marketing standards and believes in honesty of relationship, opinion and identity. This Life is a proud sponsor of Theta Mom and I was compensated for this post. In addition, I received a free trial service to facilitate this review. However, all opinions expressed are purely my own and the content of this post was not influenced in any way.

Be Enough Me 4 Cancer: An Amazing Campaign

Once again, I am writing with a full heart today. It really doesn’t get any better when I have the ability to envision something pretty amazing as well as have the opportunity to help slowly piece it all together. As many of you know, Bellflower Books is one of my clients and these two women have created a wonderful brand. They recently partnered with Elena (@Ciao Mom) who launched Just Be Enough – a site that has been so quickly embraced by the blogosphere. I knew when I pictured all of these women working together that it would be epic.

The philanthropic idea started out with this partnership, but also grew to involve Crickett’s Answer for Cancer as Elena put so well, “to help women struggling with breast cancer and their families remember the better days. Because those better days are what get us through the rotten ones.” When you put these entities together, you get the Be Enough Me 4 Cancer Campaign. Together, the goal is to provide up to TEN women fighting Breast Cancer a Bellflower book created by their family and friends, a little piece of sunshine that will make these women smile. The book will be something they will treasure forever, a keepsake for future generations as well.

Many of you know Elena and her battle with this disease – so you can imagine how near and dear this campaign is to her. But if you ask Elena, she will tell you that she is dedicating this campaign to a dear friend in the blogosphere, Susan Niebur, better known as @WhyMommy who is currently battling metastatic breast cancer in her spine, hip, and ribs.

Please visit and join us in the Be Enough Me 4 Cancer campaign. There you will find full deets on how YOU can participate and support this amazing philanthropic endeavor.

Again, this is one of those moments I find myself saying – I am SO proud to be a blogger.

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As a side note, I am guest posting at Accustomed Chaos today, so after you check out the details for the Be Enough Me 4 Cancer Campaign, knowing how YOU can be involved, make a visit to Devan’s place, too!

Featured TMC Blogger: These Little Waves

TMC welcomes Galit from These Little Waves. She is one of those bloggers that when you read just one piece of her writing, you will be hooked. If you are looking to find a blogger that writes with sheer brilliance each and every time, you need to run over to her blog. After this feature here below, I think you’ll immediately see why I am telling you she is a true talent – this girl can write!!!

***

“Mom?” I fight the noise, the light, the inevitable wake up call.

“Mom, I’m up!” Warm little hands touch my cheeks. Never-ending brown eyes will me to wake.

My oldest daughter.

Fiercely independent.

Eerily smart.

Heartbreakingly loving.

I was up late tweeting, writing, reading, commenting. I feel like I just cozied into Jason’s warmth moments ago.

And now I hear Kayli’s getting-big-faster-than-I’d-ever-imagined-voice saying, “Mom?” and blearily, I start my day.

We tiptoe through the sleeping house, make coffee and milk, gather her latest chapter books -Nancy Drew mysteries, magical fairies, tree house adventures.

We settle onto the couch, nestled beneath the sheer yellow blanket. Its fringes tickling our toes.

Kayli leans into me and I breathe in her strawberry scented hair. Her hand rests on my arm, “Mom? I love stories.”

***

D*O*G My precocious five year old writes. Her print is thorough, purposeful, strong. Her fingertips smeared in a watercolor blue, her cheeks stained a summer pink.

She leans back in her chair, her feet barely touching the ground. I see thoughts swirling behind her eyes.

“I know!” she smiles pressing her pencil tip to the velvet notebook- what other notebook would she possibly have besides a fuschia velvet one? B*L*O*G!

I look into those impossible hazel eyes that match my own. They’re laugh line framed. Her cheeks are raised, her smile is wide. One writer whispering survival secrets to the other.

B*L*O*G.

***

“Go to sleep” I whisper-sing to Brody, my baby who’s almost three. We lay side by side. His fingers laced with mine, his shockingly blond hair tousled into the crook of my neck.

His eyelashes flutter, his breathing steadies. I stay with him – taking in this quiet, this togetherness, this meant-to-be-ness.

***

I’ve always fiercely immersed myself into my labels – Student, Traveler, Teacher, Wife, Mother. But today I find myself betwixt and between Motherhood and Writing.

I’m writing my first novel. I’m following my spark, my bliss, my passion.

But when I walk by full sinks and unfolded laundry, my unread-to children and my un-talked to husband, I waver. I wonder how can I possibly tread this Mother – Writer line?

And that’s where blogging comes in. Blogging is my anchor. It’s where I find camaraderie and friendship, learning and growth.

It’s where I find others with stories whirling in their hearts, begging to be told. It’s where I find my balance, and my voice.

I launched my blog six months ago to flex my writing muscles and to build my platform. But what I really found is community and friendship that takes my breath away, grounds me, and pushes me to be better.

Thank you for having me here today, Heather. I am so honored. And thank you for reading my words. I am so very happy to meet you.

Be sure to check out the blog and follow her on Twitter! New to TMC? Join us! We LOVE new members! *To be considered as a Featured TMC Blogger, be sure to comment on this week’s feature! Have a great weekend ladies!