09.30.11

Make 3 Immediate Changes to Avoid Blog Burnout

My guest post today comes from Jessica, author of the blog Four Plus an Angel. She’s sharing some sage advice on maintaining a blog AND a life outside of the blogosphere before reaching blog burnout. I know veteran bloggers will easily relate to this and the ideas presented here are also imperative for newbies.

We were driving home from a long weekend away with the kids when I decided I would quit.

I unplugged for four days and felt great. My eyes were not strained from staring at the computer screen for hours or keeping up with a twitter stream. I felt connected to my kids and confident that I had truly enjoyed our trip rather than worrying about my next blog post or my current stats.

As we got closer to home I daydreamed about what I would do with all of my free time now that I would not have to post nightly and blog-read every free moment.

But then I got home. And I checked my Twitter stream. And I missed my friends and wondered what they had all been writing about while I was gone.

Maybe I wouldn’t quit after all, but I would have to make some significant changes if I was going to continue. I tend to be an “all or nothing” type person so I would have to adjust my blogging attitude and reprioritize in order to avoid burning out.

I made a few immediate changes:

1. I stopped blogging so frequently. In the past I would blog 5-6 days a week. Now I blog 3 days a week and ONLY when I have something to say. If I am not inspired to write I don’t. I can honestly say that this has improved the content of my posts and increased my readership and comments. Best of all, I am not spending every weeknight staring at my computer screen for blogging inspiration.

2. I dedicated time to learning new social media tools. I invested time learning Stumbleupon, Pinterest and improving my Facebook page. I also started using Crowdbooster to effectively target my social media interaction. Utilizing these tools has helped me to network, strengthen my social media relationships and also increase my readership.

3. I give 100% to what I am doing. If I am playing with my kids I no longer check Twitter at every pause in the action and I leave my phone in another room when I am getting things done around the house. I don’t spend my day trying to find five minutes to write, I write when I have a chunk of time to do it. My mommy-guilt has decreased and I genuinely enjoy the things I am doing much more (except for maybe the laundry).

I can honestly say I am pleasantly surprised by how these changes have improved my blogging life. My stats have maintained what they were when I was blogging five or six days a week, I feel more connected to my readers and blogging friends and I even cook dinner every once in a while.

What are some ideas that have worked for you when you found yourself at a blogging crossroads?

{ 97 Comments }
09.26.11

Getting to Know Me

I’m bringing it back old school by sharing some random facts about me. I actually published this lovely Q & A type of post very early on in my blogging journey and since I have many new readers since then, I thought it would be fun to share again – this time, I have some new questions and the addition of some #hashtags to give it a finished touch. So, here goes getting to know me a little better…

1. Name someone with the same birthday as you. Paris Hilton

2. What has been your favorite age so far? 24

3. Where did you meet your husband? In a bar

4. How many children do you have? Two #totallydone

5. Have you ever sung in front of a large number of people? Karaoke after a few beers

6. What’s the first thing you notice about your preferred sex? Great teeth

7. What really turns you off? Dishonesty

8. What do you order at Starbucks? White Chocolate Mocha #yummy

9. What is your biggest mistake? Not starting this blog sooner! #fact

10. As a child, what did you want to grow up to be? I thought I wanted to be a flight attendant…that was until I “grew up” and my fear of flying got in the way. #nojoke

11. Say something totally random about yourself. I can eat rainbow sprinkles directly out of the container. #seriously

12. Do you still watch kiddie movies or TV shows? Kiddie tv shows #notbychoice

13. Did you have braces? No #thankgod

14. Favorite Social Network? Hands down, Twitter. #ofcourse

15. What is the most romantic thing someone of the preferred sex has done for you? My husband proposed to me on the ice-skating rink in Rockefeller Center.

16. When do you know when it’s love? When you can’t imagine yourself living without that person in your life.

17. Do you speak any other languages? I studied French in High School, Spanish and Italian in college – and I can’t speak any of them. #truestory

18. Have you ever been to a tanning salon? Fake and bake? Of course, I’m from New Jersey ;)

19. What magazines do you read? I used to love InStyle, but now I don’t even have time for that anymore. #socialmedia

20. What is playing on your iPod right now? Van Morrison

21. Have you ever ridden in a limo? Yes, the most fun limo rides I remember were for 3 different Bachelorette Parties in NYC. #goodtimes

22. Has anyone you were really close to passed away? Yes. All of my grandparents are deceased.

23. Do you watch MTV? I never miss an episode of Jersey Shore. #fistpump

24. What’s something that really annoys you? When my husband thinks I spend way too much time on the computer. And I know he’ll eventually read this, and then our conversation following will be even more annoying. #lame

25. Which television show you were sad to say goodbye to? Friday Night Lights #texasforever

26. Can you dance? Actually, yes. I even minored in it in college.

27. What’s your favorite place in the world? The ocean

28. Have you ever been rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room? Ambulance no but ER, yes.

29. If you could meet anyone (dead or alive) who would it be? Marilyn Monroe           

30. If you could change one thing in the world for your child, what would it be? I would remove the life-threatening nut allergy that my son lives with everyday.

Your turn: If you’re up for the challenge, ask a question in the comments that you would like to know more about and I’ll do my best to answer it. How’s THAT for random?

{ 54 Comments }
09.23.11

You Never Know Where Your Blogging Path May Lead

Since inspiration seems to be the theme this week, I couldn’t think of a more perfect blogger to guest post on this topic. Elena, author of C.Mom is my fabulous guest blogger today and she is sharing her personal blogging journey – one I know you will instantly connect with and upon reading, feel inspired about the potential path of your own blogging destiny.

“Fire can be dangerous, but it can also be a beacon that lights your way in the darkness.”

Earlier this summer I was doing my regular old blogging thing; reflecting on all that I had learned at the Type A Parent Conference, attempting to read and comment on posts, engaging with people on Twitter, and trying to get myself out there. That is what we do as bloggers, or at least, that is what I did.  I had been writing C.Mom for over a year and a half, and though I loved it, was not entirely sure what my long term vision was.

And then a spark.

I was reading a fabulous post.  The words in that post about self-acceptance were all that it took for me to realize that this was my “thing.”

That “thing” turned into “Things I Like about Me,” my first ever meme. I participated in all sorts of memes the eighteen months I had been blogging, but I had never hosted one. What if I put myself out there and no one came? What if the great idea in my head was only great to me?

Without explanation, I had a feeling.  I had a feeling that the topic might touch a lot of people. I had a feeling it could spark something magical. Maybe it was a hope, a dream – but I was determined to make it reality and put my entire self into making it a success.

That is when the spark became a flame.

The support rolled in through comments, through tweets, and eventually through the words of 90 linked up posts. I was stunned and in awe, but a fire was burning in me that was unlike anything I had experienced before.

The trick, for me, was to figure out what to do with those flames.

Although I know fire is risky, I needed to find a way to keep this feeling going. I wanted to fuel the flames whose energy had come from the voices of many sharing their story; flames whose energy had come from passion, from raw emotion, from a place down deep in the beings of women that I had never met.

I tweeted about my attempts to brainstorm, like one adds kindling to a fire.  I emailed back and forth with other bloggers whose opinions I respected and whose voices I admired.  The ideas percolated, but the pile of kindling was getting lower and lower. Until…

Until I found the magical match.

As I swam laps at the pool, I realized I needed to believe in the energy that had ignited this passion. I needed to believe in the support of those tweets and emails and comments. I needed to believe that I could keep telling my story on C.Mom, but create something new and magical in a separate space.

And so I lit the match.

I came home from my swim and searched domain names. I turned to Twitter for help on the perfect name. I considered how crazy of an idea it was to start a new site while working full time, having C.Mom, and all of my other real life responsibilities.

I did it anyway. I bought Just.Be.Enough. and took a deep breath, for I knew in my heart of hearts, this was a giant leap of faith.

That was almost two months ago. Since then, Just.Be.Enough. has evolved into a flame that is fueled by passion, by love, and by the voices of many. The stories of parenting, of our children, of our roles as wives and professionals stoke the fire each day.

The weekly meme has been home to honest and emotional stories and has evolved into a movement, a celebration where we accept our imperfections, and stand taller collectively as a group. The scary thing to me is that none of this would have happened had I not read that one blog post.

None of this would have happened had it not been for the support of a blogging community.

None of this would have happened had I not been willing to take a risk.

I am so very glad that I did. The comments, the emails, and the tweets from sources around the world thanking me for Just.Be.Enough. and for the opportunity to focus on our strengths instead of our flaws…those words, those emotions, and the self confidence that those words exude…that is enough to keep my inner flame burning for a very long time.

————————————————————-

Thank you to Heather, whose support of me and bloggers everywhere is unmatched; her encouragement and in fact, her idea for the name of Just.Be.Enough. is something that I cherish and am thankful for every day. Thank you also to the fabulous team of women that contribute to Just.Be.Enough, and to the many voices that link up each week and support me every day.

If you are interested in guest posting at Theta Mom® please send me an email since I am currently accepting submissions. Full details can be found on the Network page.

{ 28 Comments }
09.20.11

The 3 Best Sources of Inspiration

I often get the questions asked of me, “What continues to inspire you…where do you get ideas for your blog posts…where do you continuously draw inspiration from?” So, I thought this would be the perfect time to share my three favorite sources of inspiration.

1. Photography: Whether it’s a photo of a gorgeous floral arrangement or a candid shot of a child, I am easily inspired by a really good photograph. And sometimes, the inspiration may not come from the “object” of the focal point of the lens, but rather the symbolism that the photo depicts – whether it pulls at the heart strings or resides from a political, religious or even philosophical standpoint.  When I came across this photo of Carrie Bradshaw holding a baby, I instantly saw the dialogue beginning in my head of the post that needed to be written.

Image Credit

One simple look at this photograph and I was immediately inspired to write – and to be honest, it’s one of my all time favorite posts I’ve ever written on my blog: Carrie Bradshaw would be a Theta Mom. Yes, photography will always be a big source of inspiration for me.

2. Books, Blogs & Media: Reading something I stumble upon (whether it’s through a blog or other forms of literature) are other sources of quick inspiration. When an author poses some great questions about a particular topic that is relevant to me, I am inspired to write about it. The media also constantly gives me great blog fodder. Whether it’s found through television or in print, if it pertains to my life and I have an immediate connection to the content – I am inspired. For instance, when I read an article and survey that came out of Forbes Woman and The Bump, it clearly hit home for me and apparently, it touched a nerve with every reader as well: What is the Ideal Age to Become a Mom?   

3. Life Experiences: My final secret source of inspiration is you guessed it – my own life. It could be the simple routine things that happen on a daily basis as a mother to the crazy world I find myself in as a WAHM, there are amazing blog posts just waiting to be written at every turn around here. One of my favorites is Birth Order Parenting – pretty much because it sums up the fact that when I write about motherhood, I realize it’s sometimes the mundane things that we can ALL relate to that provides an instant connection. In the end, this sort of inspiration brings the whole blogging process full circle for me.

Now I would love to hear from YOU – what are your favorite sources of inspiration for your blog?

{ 30 Comments }
09.16.11

The Rewards of Giving Back

My guest blogger is Missy Bedell, author of The Literal Mom. She loves helping parents through a comprehensive improvement plan that gets parents to think about their own parenting. She raises some good points in her piece today regarding the benefits of giving back, both in our personal lives as well as in the blogging community.

The happiest people I meet are the ones who have found a way to give back. People who understand that in order to feel good about yourself, it’s not what you GET from others, it’s what you GIVE to others.

When I was a brand new mom back in early 2002, I didn’t have a blog yet. I actually didn’t even have a computer in my home. The horror! And I was lonely and so confused about my new life.  Heather recently wrote a beautiful post about this very issue.

I spent the first year of my oldest daughter’s life wondering what had happened to me. Why was I miserable when I had the very thing I’d always wanted – a baby?

Eventually I learned the reason…I wasn’t giving back yet.

I left a very public service job. It didn’t pay much, but I helped people who very rarely get noticed in life.  And I was tired of it.  I was exhausted by their demands, by the pressures of never being “finished” with the job.  I thought that having a baby would change all of that.

And is it no surprise that my “new life” as a mom was exactly like the old one?  Except, I wasn’t getting paid for this new life. I was exhausted all the time.  She never stopped crying unless I held her, yes, 24 hours a day. I felt completely cut off from “the world.”  I would sit in the 3am dark and look out the window thinking everyone’s lives were going on and mine was in limbo.  I felt that my life had become an endless loop that I didn’t like. All of this despite my love of my baby.

I wasn’t giving back yet.

Fast forward 8 or 10 months and I received an invitation to join a volunteer organization. Yes, it was the invitation-only kind and I know some people don’t believe in those.  But I leapt at the chance.

Why?

First, because I was so lonely I could hardly breathe.  I needed people and meaningful human contact in the world’s worst way.

Second, because I believe giving back tops the list of important things we do with our lives.

And I found over the next 4 years that the more I gave to this organization, the more I got out of it.  When I put myself out there to become a leader, I began to regain my confidence as a woman. And bonus – I started getting more confidence as a mother. That organization became a stepping stone for me to another organization and another and another.

Today, I’m the President of a Board of Trustees, a Treasurer of a Home and School Association, and an event coordinator for a statewide parent day.

And NOW I’m advancing my writing career, what I always wanted, and one might think my rubber band could snap from the stretching I do.

But you know what?

It doesn’t, because all of my giving pays me and my family back; in confidence, in leadership skills, in community building, and in the knowledge that I helped someone. Everything I do for my own children, I try to do on some level for the educational organizations I lead. I am a better person because of what I give back to others.

Blogging is the same for me.

It would be easy to say “this blog needs my attention more than anything else.  I don’t have time to meet other bloggers, reach out, comment, join groups, jump into Twitter conversations, guest blog or help other bloggers spread the word about their blog.  I only have time to write my posts and wait for comments to come in.”

But, like my life 10 years ago, that would lead to loneliness, the feeling that the blogging world swirls all around me without me.

So I give back in the blogging world.  And the more I give, the more I receive.  When I take the time to meaningfully connect with people’s posts, when I help a new blogger, when I offer to guest post for someone to ease their burden, I am giving to them.

But I’m also building a community. A community that helps each other, makes each other stronger, stands behind each other on hard days/weeks/months – much like the Theta Mom® Community.

I encourage you to give back in all that you do.  Life is much, much larger than your own role in it. Volunteer at your child’s school, find a cause that means something to you and give your time, talent or treasure to it.

With blogging, make the effort to connect with people.  Hold a new blogger’s hand.  Reach out to help a busy blogger.  Think in terms of “how can I help someone,” rather than “what can this person do for me?” You will be a better person for it.  You’ll be happier, for you will have made someone else’s life easier for a time. And in the process, you’ll find what you are looking for without even trying.

And that is what life is all about.

{ 57 Comments }
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