I was talking to a good friend of mine recently. She just had her second child and she is reeling from the fact that it is much harder going from mommy of one to mommy of two. I know this all so well…
Before I became pregnant with my first, I was newly married and living in a condo. At the time, this was all we could afford and it was our own little place.
The sad part is that I didn’t realize how good I had it when I lived there. Instead of marveling at less house to clean and children to chase, the entire time I lived there I was wishing for the next phase in our lives. I was too busy dreaming of buying a “real” house with a garage, yard and white picket fence, including the 2+ children running around to realize how good I really had it. I could kick myself now for wishing that part of my life away.
Back then, I was able to work out religiously every single morning at the gym because I had the time.
I was already finished with graduate school, so I took a pottery class just for fun because I had the time.
Shopping used to be a daily excursion and a fun one at that. I could try on clothes and browse a million stores because I had the time.
I could take a long shower, get a manicure, pedicure, my hair done, all of the above because I had the time.
Back then, I didn’t have children to raise. There wasn’t a lawn to mow, a pool to clean or a bigger home to maintain. Nope, it was just my hubs and I and our 900 sq. ft. condo that really was every square inch of perfect for us. Life was so much easier, simpler. Forgiving.
Fast-forward seven years later and after the selling & purchase of two more homes and the birth of two children, here we are.
To me, this part of my life has been a rebirth of our relationship in so many ways. Children will do that to you, and nobody ever told me how much the Earth would shift when I had children of my own. Nobody ever spelled out the whole “you-won’t-have-much-time-to-yourself” reality. Sounds quite selfish, but that’s the truth.
Where were my Theta Moms back then to fill me in on the real deal?
You know I love my family more than anything and I am so grateful for them. My life is so much fuller now and I do know how blessed I am to be living this beautiful life. If you missed that post you can read it here. However, I do recognize the fact that it IS so important to find some time for myself. No matter what anyone says, I know I am a better mother to my kids when I get some “me” time. I have more energy and definitely more patience. That whole time out thing was a wake up call for me this week, when I was such a lame hostess of my own party!
As I often find myself blogging, I’m trying to make sense of it all. I’m navigating my way to get to what’s really important in this thing called motherhood. I have since come to acknowledge that one of the many realities of motherhood is that time is a thief. So going forward, it’s how I choose to manage and juggle it all that will make the difference.