When I saw this story aired on television recently I have to admit I was a bit taken back…
Tara Conner, the former Miss USA, is now speaking publicly about her path of drug addiction and self-destructive behavior. Tara recently shared that at one point she was popping thirty pills a day to mask the pain of her own depression. She even admitted to cutting her body as she said it was a way for her to “control” the pain. She’s been quoted saying, “I never really had my own identity with anything because the longer I used drugs my authentic self just continued to drop down.” She has since come to learn that through the recovery process, “Even if you don’t love yourself at all, other people do love you.” She says she’s working on loving herself now.
As I was watching Tara share her story all I could do was think – what if this was my daughter? Here is this gorgeous woman who has been “beautiful” all of her life but all the while she was literally dying inside. From one looking in from the outside, you would think that she was a confident, self-assured woman and one who loves herself. Apparently, this could not have been further from the truth.
She has openly admitted to being high throughout most of the pageants she was competing in just to get her through the day. She was even using at the time of her appearance in Miss USA. She explained how she would put on this charming, happy face as this other “persona” allowed her to forget who she really was for the moment. All she wanted to do was numb the pain and forget about the lie that she was living. How could someone so “beautiful” appearing to have so much going for her be so down and emotionally distraught on the inside?
I’m not Dr. Phil and I am not writing this post to analyze her life. We all have baggage and problems that we need to work through and she is certainly trying to put the pieces of her life back together and I admire her for coming clean. But the reason I want to address this is because it just reinforces the fact that the media sometimes makes it so damn hard to be a female. Girls are influenced at such a very young age and Tara Conner is certainly an example of that; not even the beauty queen wearing the crown is who you really think she is – for her, that beautiful image was all just an external world in which she created and controlled pretty well but to all the young girls watching, they didn’t see the reality of the lie that she was living. All they saw was a “beautiful” girl, a big smile and that stunning crown…
And then I think of Heidi Montag. Why the hell did this young woman perform ten plastic surgeries at the age of 23? To advance in her so-called career? For fame and media attention? Is she insecure and not content with herself especially being under the influence and microscope of the Hollywood spotlight? I would bet to say all of the above. The bottom line is somehow, somewhere along the way she clearly has some inner emotional issues to address because this is just not normal. Another case of a “beautiful” woman who really does even know what true beauty is.
This is exactly why I absolutely love Dove and The Campaign for Real Beauty designed to enrich the lives of young women everywhere with self-esteem programs. THIS is the message we should be sending our daughters and THAT is essentially what I want for my own.
I want my daughter to love and appreciate every ounce of her body. I want her to respect herself and grow to become a confident, self-assured and well articulated woman of the world.
I don’t want her to be insecure about any “inadequacies” even though I know this may be a struggle. We have to stop this negative talk and redefine what true beauty is. Although I don’t have the perfect body, I’ve come a long way of loving it after having two babies and working through those issues. More than anything, I want my daughter to love herself for every single beautiful thing she is. I want her to appreciate what she offers the world and relish in the fact that she is special because she IS a beautiful human being.
I love her more than she’ll ever know but the one wish I have for my daughter is for her to love herself; the beautiful person she is right now as well as the beautiful person she will become.
I also want to wish each and every mother reading my blog right now a wonderful Mother’s Day because although our work is never done, this is our special day to celebrate the beautiful lives we have been blessed with. I am so grateful for the time you take to read and comment on my blog, so thank you for being such an integral part of this journey with me…
So here’s to a fabulous and well deserved Mother’s Day Theta Moms – and here’s to our daughters finding true beauty within themselves.