I never knew how much motherhood would be a game changer until I became a mom myself. Once becoming pregnant for the very first time and giving birth to a child, not only did my perspective on life change – but so did my entire world.
It made me think about what I really wanted out of life.
It made me look deeper into myself and define what is really important.
It made me honor my values.
It made me have an undeniable respect for my own mother.
It made me appreciate my childhood and the way I was raised.
It made me think about my actions in a way I never thought about before.
And it certainly made me make some tough choices about what *I* was going to do with the rest of my life.
You see, when my husband stood by my side at the hospital, having a baby wasn’t nearly as much of a game changer for him.
He returned to work upon Day #5 after the birth.
His professional work clothes fit him without an issue.
He didn’t have to diet, workout or worry about his physique.
His hormones remained completely intact.
His relationships with his friends and co-workers were seamlessly easy to maintain.
He did not have to make the tough career choices surrounding the birth of this baby. He still had a job, a pay check and a rewarding career. My husband simply had to get up, shower, eat a little breakfast and return to work, life as he knew it prior to the baby.
But for me, I held onto this precious soul who napped over my shoulder, wondering where my life would lead.
I was confused about the feelings I was having – not knowing if a return to my previous full-time job would be the “right” answer for me.
I agonized over the blood, sweat and tears it took to obtain a graduate degree and I didn’t want to throw that all away – yet, I wanted nothing more than to hold that baby every second of every hour of every day.
I worried about money – about maternity leave, about insurance, about my job, about getting back into my pre-preggers clothes, about how I was still somewhat confused about this new sisterhood I was just inducted into.
Having a baby was certainly a game changer for me.
My only hope is that with time, women will have many more opportunities to make solid career choices and decisions surrounding the work/life balance of motherhood that makes sense for them without feeling like they are giving up on a part of themselves. I’m hoping women will have more chances to find a way to make it all work.
If only my blog was around 6 years ago – having YOU here reading with me, offering some words of encouragement and letting us all know that WE ARE NOT ALONE. If only I knew back then that I was one of millions of women who felt the same exact way.