My guest blogger today is Kirsten, author of the blog Kir’s Corner. She is a wonderful writer who was caught between a few different worlds upon entering the blogosphere; she didn’t know the “right” niche she fell into – until now. Her story is empowering and I hope her words resonate with every woman who reads about her journey. As bloggers, we can all learn something from her personal experience.
“Do you know where you’re going to, do you like the things that Life is showing you?” Do you remember this song? It’s one of my favorites and a question that I ask myself all the time.
My blogging journey has lasted for more than six years and for most of them I literally had no idea where the paths would take me. In 2005, I had been married for two years and had been trying to get pregnant with a baby for the same amount of time. I was sad, lonely and very depressed about my infertility. Like so many women who are struggling with those issues I just wanted someone to listen, to understand and to empathize with those feelings. So I sought my first sisterhood and I found my first space here in the blogosphere.
Kir’s Corner was born.
I had no idea what I was doing as far as blogging was concerned. I have never been a very tech savvy gal but I did know that writing was helping me. I could purge and vent, I could ask and receive, I could connect to hearts that were hurting like I was and I found hope in this exchange of words and encouragement. I found I could be a part of a village, a cheerleader and a link in a very important chain of women that needed one another.
It was empowering and gave me Hope on a lot of hopeless days as women took me on their own journeys.
Soon, it was my turn to move to another place in my own story. I got pregnant with my twin boys with an IVF (in vitro) in May of 2008 and soon my blog that had dealt with all the intricate emotions of infertility added the aspect of pregnancy, morning sickness, advanced maternal age and multiples to the mix. Like a recipe I folded those new ingredients into the bowl and hoped for the best.
Would my infertile friends still come by?
Would my pregnant friends come back now?
I didn’t really know where I belonged. I was stuck between two worlds and not sure about which one I had the right to lay claim to.
Once I became a mom the lines were even more blurred and hard to decipher. Like a survivor of a life changing event (and is anything more life changing than holding your children in your arms?) I struggled in those first few years of motherhood trying to decide who I was in this world inside the internet.
There was guilt and subdued happiness; reluctance and hesitation with each keystroke about whom I was writing for and what kind of reaction my words would bring. My heart was simply caught between sharing my own joy and hurting for the women that I had left behind.
I don’t remember the exact moment when I realized that I didn’t have to be in one place and not the other. What I do recall is the lightness of my heart when that thought occurred to me.
Once I had that ah-hah moment my mindset changed, my heart opened up and so did my writing.
Suddenly, I found myself in new villages, new communities and a new sisterhood that brought all the diversity of the world with it. Women, men, single, married, gay, straight, mothers and writers who were as colorful and different as any group could be yet when you peeled back the layers we had a common trait: a willingness and urge to share our lives.
They welcomed me, each one of them. Some liked when I wrote about my twins, others when I shared my own mishaps of motherhood. Some enjoyed my fiction stories and others wanted me to continue to give them glimpses into my past. For me it was the simple joy of knowing they would visit my corner that encouraged me to stay and just follow the path.
The last year of my blogging journey has been the happiest time of my life. I feel like I am finally sharing all the parts of myself without labeling myself or forcing myself into a niche. Something about this space has allowed me that freedom and choice to open the gift of myself and place it in the hands of the people who read me.
Today I am so content with what “Life is showing me…” and so grateful that I have a Corner where I can write, dream, vent and share while I wait to see where my journey will take me next.
And of course you’re welcome to join me anytime!