I was on Twitter the other day (no surprise there) on a really gloomy morning. It was raining super hard and all I could think about was how dropping the kids off at school in that kind of weather was going to be such a drag.
And then I saw a tweet from my bloggy friend @MommasGoneCity. She tweeted how she was going to take her three children (2 of who are under the age of 5 and a newborn baby) across town on the bus in NYC through rain to go bowling.
3 children. NYC. Bus. Rain. Bowling.
After reading that tweet, I DM’d her and all I could say was,
“Jessica, I don’t know how you do it.”
Because it’s the truth.
I don’t know how she does it.
Here’s how that morning would have played out for me if I attempted to do that: I would be wiping sweat from my forehead, worried the baby would be screaming on the bus as I tried to wrangle my two toddlers. I would be franticly trying to pay the bus driver, digging in my purse through wipes, bottles and Epi-Pens to find some change. Then I would be wobbling down the aisle through the crowded bus with bulky winter coats and my extra large diaper bag filled with 90% of my home, aimlessly seeking for enough seats to fit my family in – all the while making sure my children are holding my hand and somewhat listening to me.
I would be anxiously wondering how I would be getting all of my children out of the bus without hearing them complain that they are going to get wet in the rain during the short walk to the bowling alley. And then once at the place, I would have to deal with the endless, “Mommy, I want a snack. I’m bored. I’m hungry. I have to go pee. These shoes are too tight. I want to go find a bowling ball. This one is too heavy,” and the list goes on. This would all happen while I would have to attend to the newborn baby and various feeding breaks, so guess what?
I don’t think I could do it.
And I’m ok with that.
I’ve come to realize that while I embrace the fact that I am not a perfect mom (certainly one of the main reasons I even started my blog) that there’s even imperfection in imperfection.
I have two children and that’s even a stretch for me many of days, so I can’t even imagine adding another to our brood. Moreover, venturing out through the rain in the city to go bowling with my two AND a newborn? It wouldn’t be something I would be confident about, so my hat is off to those that can.
On the flip side, allow me to pitch or present to a team of top level executives, give me the opportunity to interview or hop on an important conference call, let me shake hands with CEO’s and CFO’s and I am in my element.
THAT is where *I* thrive.
Does this make me a “bad” mother or any less of a mother? No, it means I know my own boundaries and I know what works for me and my family. Because the fact of the matter is many people wonder how I do what I do – raising two kids, working from home, managing a blog, a business and other ventures.
Well, here’s a quick secret. I’m getting help.
Yes, my life is crazy – crazy busy, but I’m super organized and an amazing multi-tasker. However, since my business has grown I’ve gotten some help. And that help has mainly been enlisted by my husband because it’s the only way this thing can work. He now does all of the grocery shopping and he takes the kids back and forth to school (when he can). This alone frees up a minimum of 5 hours a week for me. And the biggest help of all? I hired a house cleaner. It’s the best money I’ve ever spent in my life because I just can’t do it all.
We are part of a secret society that as moms, we ALL wonder how the mom next to us does it…but the *real* secret is (and I can guarantee you) she is wondering the SAME THING ABOUT YOU.