The Digital Lunch, Or Not

I was recently out to lunch with some girlfriends and we had a great afternoon. In the words of Beyonce from her recent HBO Documentary Life is But a Dream {which for the record, you absolutely have to watch. Her story is simply ah-mazing}, she talked about how although she loves her husband, there is nothing like a conversation a woman has with another woman. She said as women and mothers we need each other. In her words, “I love my sisters.” And when she said that, it totally made me think of my blog. And other Theta Moms. And of course, my awesome girlfriends.

So there we were – drinking wine, eating some good food and sharing endless conversation. Endless conversation with my sisters. It was awesome.

Well, about halfway through our lunch the owner of the restaurant popped over to our table to check in. He was doing his usual manager duties, making sure we were happy with our food, the service, etc. And then he said something that really stayed with me…

He said he was really impressed that in the year 2013, four women were out to lunch and really talking to each other.

And laughing.

And connecting.

And living.

Because not one of us, at any moment during the duration of our lunch did we, as he stated, “Bury our faces in a Smartphone.”

It was clearly visible that we were enjoying each other’s company and living in the moment which was far more important than to be connected to the online world at that time. He added that the sad part is he hasn’t seen this kind of reaction in a long time.


As he walked away from the table, it really me stop and think about my connectedness to the digital space. It made me think about how much I use social media or “check in” online when I am out, when I don’t NEED to be connected at that time.

And that really is the key takeaway here.

Of course, if you are expecting an urgent email or are working on the clock, then by all means – tweet until your fingers bleed.


But if you’re burying your face in the Smartphone just because? Well, that’s a whole other story.

Perhaps my New Year’s resolve in 2013 shouldn’t be about trying to use the computer less or limiting my free time within social media – but more about living in the moment, especially when I’m offline.

And you know what?

More than the good grub, I won’t forget the manager at that restaurant because I have him to thank for reminding me there’s a distinct time and a place for everything – because if I bury my face in a Smartphone, I  may be missing out on some valuable conversation.

With my sisters.


  1. says

    Yeah, I think about this all the time.

    What gets to me, is I will make a point of not having my phone out when I’m with my girlfriends or when I’m on a date with my husband. But, when I’m with my kids? I kind of forget in the day to day business. It’s been a goal of mine this lent to make a point of spending less time on my phone. I don’t want to be the mom whose children thought she loved her phone (twitter, facebook, instagram, pinterest) more than she loved them.

    Good post Heather! As always! 😉

  2. says

    Love my “sister” time! I have some coming up tomorrow night and I can’t wait! And yes we will hardly even notice our phones.

    Yesterday I was out to lunch with my 13 year old daughter and her friend and I made a conscious decision to put my phone away. I want to set a good example for them. Conversation and connectedness and living in the moment is so important!

  3. says

    We used to be on our phones all the time at home, but now we’ve banned them from the dinner table for this very reason: that is time for us to connect with each other, not to be seeing if something new has been posted on Facebook.

  4. says

    Lovely reminder, Heather. That when we’re offline, we should just stay offline. I only ever have my phone close by when I’m with friends, just in case I get a call about the kids. But I’ve stopped using it for Facebook, Twitter etc. I never check/ read blogs from it. I do use Instagram, but rarely.

    It’s so liberating!

  5. says

    I love this, and I really need to be more disconnected and in the moment. Usually when I’m on my phone I’m just playing anyway, so it would be much better if I could just leave it alone. Glad you were able to have some good girl time; it is SO important!!

  6. says

    I love that you wrote about this. We’ve been really trying to ban phones and smart phones from all meal times. I picked mine up the other day when we were at a new restaurant in order to “Check in” and I immediately got sidetracked into Facebook. My husband was a little annoyed and I definitely saw why. If we’re all going to sit at a table together, we should be interacting! Thanks. Have a great week.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>